Ultimate Lameness, Pun Intended.

A vexing re-occurrence of intolerable spine twinging has at least served to provide me with the time to clack upon these patterned buttons in a vaguely rhythmic manner twice now in two days. Writing. It means I’m writing. And perhaps a mite touched.

As I’m quite eager to return to my debilitating boredom and maudlin rumination let’s move this along. 🙂 I’m having a very difficult time deciding which poem to go with today. Thinking… still thinking… ok, decision made.

My memory is too poor to specifically recall the catalyst for this piece but I’m sure it was any one of the many irksome trials of modern existence. Point of order; are we eating the rich because they’re the fattest or due to the intrepid anger of the new, new Untouchables? I would prefer to believe both play a role. Fat is flavor.


Mere Images, Sept 16, 2018.

I am you and you are me

Despite altered faces see

Beneath the skin lies just the same

Two legs and arms, a spine, one brain

Arteries, veins, same organs too

Believed or not facts are still true

Aforementioned brain’s the issue

Hate swamps virtue strangers wish you

Disregard most of failure’s wrath

Learn lessons from the aftermath

And then move on there’s zero worth

To dwell on darkness of this Earth

Set your baseline response to love

If World’s a cold hand, be its glove.

(Sorry to any limbless friends

I’m adhering to StatCan trends).


I felt the post script caveat necessary in case any of my dear readers happen to be lacking any arms or legs. Especially since the figures appearing within these articles are so often missing both spines and brains as well.

Did you know no single word rhymes with issue besides tissue? I checked. Happily, like I so often have, found there was some loophole I could nonchalantly exploit. Good stuff.
It took way too long to write what’s already here so I’m going to call it. Some days this thing is like pulling the teeth from an ornery tiger. And they’re the ones right in the back too. Be good to each other.
Happy trails and waggy tales! Altered once more to include “stories” within the dog pun. Inception bitches!
-Alex Blaikie



One response to “Ultimate Lameness, Pun Intended.”

  1. Tissue rhymes with miss you…but that is two words…..what about MizzU the football team? Enjoyed…

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