The Final Countdown

Good morrow fair peasants and pheasants! Let’s avoid being hunted by the wealthy for sport momentarily and take in a picture together.

I have an important query, why do spaceships in movies ALWAYS have built-in self destruct sequences? When would this ever be considered practical? I’ll accept potentially dangerous scientific experiments but every darn craft has one installed. Can you imagine if we had that for current transportation methods? City bus, initiate self destruct count down… Always on a count down too, what if you just want to explode immediately in some peculiar homage to Dickens’, Bleak House, for instance? That’s a spontaneous combustion joke, you didn’t get it because it wasn’t very good. My guess is this, The Galactic Union of Planets and Other Miscellaneous Floating Space Trash, or The GUPOMFST, for not particularly short, having passed planned obsolesce and right to repair legislations in the early 3000’s CC, (don’t ask), the manufacturers of everything added a SD option to any possible transportation device in the hopes it would be used for whatever reason under the guise of futurization. I understand they also added a neato whooshing noise when the doors open or close. Excelsior.

Well that paragraph got away from me some so let’s crack on here. I finally wrote some new material over the past couple weeks but let’s instead take a gander at something from last year. I should also say, thank you so much for visiting, and please enjoy!

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“How Many Kicks”, October 22, 2020.

In the absolute middle 

Of an ordinary brain 

Disgusting poison riddle 

Causing horrifying pain 

Extraction can’t be performed 

Hardly errant cavity 

Giving birth to the deformed 

And sundry depravity

External adversities 

Ever take second place 

To mental perversities 

The sick redundant chase

Answer’s lost in space and time 

And there’s no other way 

Transform even numbers prime 

And go about your day.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-So, basically just perform the eminently impossible and chill. Not exactly Netflix but it’s more cost efficient and always in HD.

That’s all for me folks, all the drivel was pre-poe today. Say la vie. La vie.

Remember, missing 100% of the shots you don’t take is significantly more reasonable if you’re the one at whom is being shot. Confucius say.

-Alexander Blaikie



9 responses to “The Final Countdown”

  1. Have you ever considered a stand-up comedy course? You’re writing is so sharp, which was the hardest part for me

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being on stage isn’t for me, I’d love to write for a comedy show or some such one day however

      Like

  2. Something I have wondered about myself, having served in our terrestrial (aquatic?) navy, and beautifully lampshaded in Something is Out There, a short-lived 1988 scifi series… Aired opposite Dallas, it only survived for six episodes. Basically, a dangerous alien life form has escaped confinement aboard a starship passing near the solar system, killed most of the crew, and come to Earth. During the course of the hunt, Ta’Ra, a junior medical officer, is asked by the human detective she’s working with if they could get back to the ship and start the destruct sequence. The question seemed perfectly normal to everyone weaned on Star Trek, but her answer was priceless:

    “Of course not.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I don’t know it. Does every sailor know the destruct sequence for one of your aircraft carriers?”

    Missed the next ten lines LMAO!

    Fun post, and I really enjoyed it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is one of my favourite comments ever. Thanks so much for visiting and taking the time to share. All the best!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your preamble had me in stitches! Thank you.

    Like

  4. Always such a pleasure – and yet a challenge to read out loud! Want to share to you my anniversary of 6 years, one day at a time. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Let it go? Works for both the brain and the desire to end the useful life a spaceship I would think.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for the follow :]

    You have a great blog site

    Kind wayfarer

    Liked by 1 person

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