Dread Poets Sobriety

Good day, friends new and old! I know you weren’t awaiting a triumphant
return from your bottom 5 favourite poet comedian, but anyone willing to
identify with such an ignominious moniker surely can rise above. After all, the scum always rises to the top. But let us not lose ourselves in current events. Let’s instead proceed into the worst dad joke of 2024, (thus far)…

To which clause would one refer if the reason for a breach of contract on the sale of a property was caused by Thor blowing it up or Odin enjoying some otherwise similar shenanigans? Norse majeure. I am so sorry and may God, (or in this case, Gods?), forgive my tainted soul.

Finally, before moving on, you may remark there is yet another new aesthetic theme. Honesty time, when I switched it initially last year after WordPress changed their subscription plans I did myself and you all a disservice. I hated the new theme, the old one was longer available, and to make matters even worse, in a veritable orgy of poor decision-making and a certain delusional frugality, I also switched the link from .com to .ca. Genius move when most of your readership is based internationally and every old link would now be invalid. Alas, mistakes will always be made and the best and most efficient way to learn is by making errors. I detest that reality but my perception or rather acceptance/non-acceptance of such a principle will have no effect. It’s at times such as these I am occasionally reminded, (once the worse voices in my head have been shouted down sufficiently anyway), never to focus on the problem beyond the context of finding a solution. That said, someone turned the old .com link into a pornographic emporium and that burns a bit. But how do you know the fire is hot without being burned at least once? Listen to qualified advice? Pssh, people don’t do that anymore. But let us not lose ourselves in current events:)

Thank you so very much for joining us today and even making it this far! You are appreciated to as advanced a degree conceivable until it becomes weird. Ph.D. yes, stalking no. Despite my significant backlog in my unpublished file we’re going to enjoy, (optimism is so pure), the most recent of my efforts. Thank you again and try to remember, when all seems lost, there will always be hope for those with the strength to seek it. How do I know? Because often I lacked the very strength of which we speak.

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“Counter”, Dec. 27, 2023.

Steep driving rain and falling tears

Merge indistinguishably upon the face

A kaleidoscopic torrent amid prismatic depressions

Alternating waves crash frozen

But no colder or less harrowing

Than prevailing ghoulish visage

Twisted haunting trickery

Crass and unrepentant

Disguises insidious complexity

Within most prosaic canvas blank

Because the true enduring perceptible disparity

Between infinity and emptiness

Is a perversely discernible lack thereof.

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Moving forward I’m test-driving a new concept where instead of immediately discussing the poems in the post-game they will be dissected briefly at the beginning of our next post. This should serve both to allow readers to enjoy some time for reflection as well as keep me on a better publishing schedule, which frankly has been shameful of late.

Also, to those who have enquired, I left Twitter, or whatever Elmo is calling it now, shortly after his acquisition. It was extremely evident the direction in which things were moving and a few thousand fewer subscribers meant nothing in comparison to having anything to do with that literal cesspit.

Thank you so very much for dropping by and still maintaining an interest after all these years. We’re almost SIX now! You are special, precious and deserve all the happiness life has to offer. Even if you think the post sucks, we forgive you. And rest assured, you are well within the majority opinion!

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales, to you all. The absolute waggiest!

-Alex Blaikie

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