Dread Poets Sobriety

Good day, dear friends and readers. It is, as always, an absolute honour to have you here. It’s terrible opening joke time!

From which condition does a lizard who cannot get ahold of Viagra suffer?

…

E-Reptile Dysfunction.

Booooooo! That’s what I love about “dad jokes”. The worse they are the better it becomes. For me, I mean.  Also, I’m not much of a biologist but am relatively confident lizards do not reproduce in that manner. Do they even have a penis to dysfunct? Do not look up whether “dysfunct” is a word, it totally is. Trust me, bro.

Biologist Alex here, Lizards AND snakes have not one but TWO penises called Hemipenes which may or may not be my new favourite concept. Also, alligators are perpetually erect. Just tossing that in there, which, incidentally, is precisely what the alligator said. Where the hell are we going here?  

Umm, let’s move on! Today’s poem is a bit different. Generalizing my work greatly many of the pieces tell a story. Incoherent, perhaps unintelligible even, but theoretically a story nonetheless. I suppose, thinking about it deeper now, this is no exception simply told out of order. It’s like the tide but the mission is to implode the moon. Halt the unhaltable. Stop that which “cannot” be cessated. A ten-tonne metronome swinging Prestissimo-style brought to a standstill by a mere thought. Confused? Good, as am I.

Thank you again for being here and please enjoy!

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“The Void”, July 1, 2024.

Shivering, alone 

Destitute and hopeless 

But always still 

At the very corner of vision

A siren’s light 

Gently beckoning weightlessness 

A door, a mirror 

The beginning to an end 

Alpha-omega entwined

Fully merged and submerged 

The voices mercifully silent

Finally in agreement 

The path forwards

No longer twisting worms 

But a straight line 

Lights marking the road 

Blessed succour 

Shred of transient peace 

Why must the price 

Be everything 

Losing to win 

A bracing step backwards 

Preludes the charge 

Forward movement 

Into unknown terrain 

Scared, scarred 

But all are still one

Purpose and identity 

Once deeply shrouded 

Slowly deciphered 

Conscience and cognizance  

Slowly chipped away 

The marble slate 

Once a formless block 

Now static perfection  

Unattainable, uncouth, immaculate  

Source of self-marginalization 

Forever in our own way

Single path but blundering gait 

Burdens must first be put to rest 

Examined and most vitally, permitted   

Curiosity, forgiveness, acceptance  

There is nothing else 

In this we ultimately stand alone

Before the breaking dawn 

Silent as the invisible, pulsing agony 

Ruptures peace’s bulwark once more  

Thus the cycle begins anew  

Sadness and desperation 

Disturbing lack of grace 

The snake devouring its tail 

That light we burned 

Consumed us all. 

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Be honest, you’re still thinking about the hemipeni, aren’t you?

I’ll let you go back and forth with that for a while. I may do a dedicated post to dissect some of what I consider to be the more salient details at some unspecified future time. However, for now, I wish you all a day of blessing and joy. There’s certainly a lot fucked up in the world right now but if love cannot solve it, I recommend more love. At the least, let’s try not to hate, there is surely zero upside. May you know joy.

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales,

-Alex Blaikie